Hey Abbot!

What sort of scheduling was it to play Bangladesh three times in a row? How could that produce close exciting cricket, the type that is needed to keep Test cricket to the fore. Granted the third instalment is against West Bangladesh and this side seems to have a better bowling attack but a much more fragile batting line-up than their eastern cousins. They also seem to have a wicketkeeper who would make Gerraint Jones look world class – which is strange because I am sure Kamran Akmal used to be quite good.

What on earth has happened to Pakistan? I can guess the real answer has something to do with their laughable cricket board. If ever there was a set of guys who the ECB could sit next to an (almost) guarantee to look competent it would be PCB officials. The PCB have a special kind of genius, unfortunately it is not for cricket but for the Lou Costello style of comedy. The trouble is it cannot be very funny for Pakistani supporters, or the hapless teams that have to play them.

Pakistan in turmoil

The Pakistan cricket team; what a weird place that must be. They are always involved in some sort of controversy and have now picked a captain known for being, shall we say known for his ‘sharp practice’? No, no pussy-footing around, Afridi is a cheat and has been caught on camera a few times. Hmm... lots of disciplinary issues and they appoint a cheat – how is that going to end do you think?

Pakistan toured Australia a few months ago and the ramifications are still going on. Most of it revolves around the match at Sydney where it is suggested that some players helped to ‘throw’ the match. Pakistan managed to lose after gaining a 200 run lead on first innings. Impressive. There seems to be much fire aimed Kamran Akmal for various wicket keeping mistakes. Next time someone suggests that Pakistan have thrown a game, remember this little nugget, Intikhab Alam, Pakistan’s coach is

“critical of the players' behaviour away from the field, questioning their education levels and upbringing, their mental aptitude and ultimately concluding that they "seem to be mentally retarded.". He suggests, as remedial measures, that Shoaib Malik, Misbah-ul-Haq, Mohammad Yousuf and Younis Khan be removed from the team, though he says of Younis that "he is not a troublemaker but he has other issues."”

I can certainly see how Akmal’s mind may be not been 100% on the job in hand, can you imagine playing for a team where the coach thinks that? I suspect the players are scared silly about making mistakes in such an environment.

Time for a thrashing?

Oh good England are going to play Bangladesh – I cannot wait. Surely it is going to be a right thumping – and what would be the point of that? Teams like to think they will win by a large margin but where is the fun if it is a foregone conclusion? The only morsel on offer is seeing if Eoin Morgan can make a fist of it. I have heard it said that he would be the first Irish born cricketer to play for England – can that be true? England players have been born all over the world – even ones that appear completely English (Ted Dexter, for example was born in Italy and Nasser Hussain in India).

Englandish are World Champions

So England has beaten Australia in the final of the T20 World Cup. They are World Champions. What is more they thoroughly deserved to win, England were clearly the best side on display. No contrivances. No Duckworth and Lewis. Not even a dodgy umpiring decision. England won; fair and square. Whhhooo.

There is a fly in the ointment of course. When I say ‘England’ what I actually mean is ‘People who qualify to play cricket for England’. Only one batsman in the top five (Collingwood) was born in the United Kingdom and for me at least that does take some of the gloss from the victory. The first Englishman walked to the crease with the score on 118-2. I can at least console myself in that the bowling was all done by who were born and brought up in England – and it was the bowling that really won it for England. Australia didn’t fully recover from (yet another) top order collapse. No miracle this time – happily.

England's jinx

England’s performances in international competitions are usually pretty poor, bordering on very poor. They have managed to squeeze into the Super Eights after a loss to West Indies and wash-out against Ireland. However that belies a bit on injustice. England made 191 against the West Indies and the West Indies managed to win in six overs with 60. That is not much more than the average asking rate and they had more than a third of that innings with fielding restrictions.

The Duckworth-Lewis method of determining target scores is all about resources. Remaining overs and wickets are resources. When West Indies came back out (after 2.2 overs) they were set 60 after 6 overs. That is because the calculation took the overs remaining (3.4) and wickets (10) into account to come up with 60. However, most people can see than 60 in 6 overs is a lot easier to score than 191 in 20. The D/L method is a good system but I think it may need some tweaking for T20. One such tweak would be to reduce the number of wickets available in the calculation if there are only a small number of overs to play. For example if there are less than eight overs to play, reduce the number of wickets to five in the calculation. This would push up the par score and give the side batting second more of a chance. In the end all we want to see is a fair matchup.

200 at last

It had to happen; someone had to make 200 in an ODI. Thank heavens it was Sachin Tendulkar, a man who deserves all the records and plaudits he receives who did it first. I was worried it might be done by a flash-in-the-pan player, someone who turns up, slogs for a bit and gets 200. It could have happened but happily it didn’t. The score was made by someone who is more than worthy. It was also made against South Africa – no six sixes against Bermuda type falsies here. A proper innings by a proper batsman against a proper bowling attack. Nice one Sachin.

Jaded

Andrew Strauss is jaded. He is a tired man who needs a break from cricket. He is so tired that Strauss not going to Bangladesh has been a foregone conclusion since September when the ECB leaked as much. So he is not jaded, it is just convenient ECB lie. Indeed, the surprise is that other players are not tired enough to skip going. Hold on a moment, Strauss is a batsman who does not bowl – how can he be tired? He hasn’t even done much batting of late and he will not be going to the World Twenty20. For those of us who actually do a day’s work ... the thought of being given three months off from visiting hot places and playing cricket seems a bit like a mickey-take. Burn-out? I wouldn’t mind the risk of that type of burn-out.

They gave Strauss’ job to Alastair Cook. It makes perfect sense to give it to a guy whose Test average is on the slide and can barely justify his place in the side. Oh, hang on that covers the whole batting line-up except Collingwood – so Cook is probably as good a sacrifice as anyone. I wonder if he will get Strauss' extra Captain's salary...

They have announced a few replacements for the ‘jaded’ player but I am not going to even type their names: they have NO chance of being picked – it may rock a boat somewhere.

Just pick your mates

Michael Vaughan is now a cricket commentator for TMS. In this interview he says of England’s defeat:

“This is a developing team, a lot of the players are worth sticking with and given many, many more chances.”

Two years ago and 150 odd posts ago I started this blog. The first Test England played after that time their batting line-up was:

Cook
Vaughan
Strauss
Pietersen
Bell
Collingwood

The only difference between this side and the beating at Jo’berg was Vaughan himself who has retired and his place taken over by Trott. In that time Shah and Bopara weren’t given ‘many, many more chances’. Still others never got a chance.

Not much sun with mostly showers

So South Africa made it – they managed to win the last test and draw the series. Odd that, because the fact they managed to force a draw in the last test make it look as if England were the dominant team, when in reality it was the other way around. South Africa really should have won the series 3-1 and had it not been for the heroics of England number 11s (i.e. Graham Onions) the Proteas would have done. England was thrashed ... and nearly won the series. In those terms, a draw seems like a good result.

Interesting England averages:

Cook 287 @ 41 (about average for a poor player)
Strauss 170 @ 24.28 (very poor)
Trott 190 @ 27.14 (very poor)
Pietersen 177 @ 25.28 (very poor)
Collingwood 344 @ 57.33 (only batsman that had a good tour!)
Bell 313 @ 44.71 (what sort of a team is it where 44.71 is a success?)
Prior 158 @ 22.57 (at least he didn’t drop many)
Broad 76 @ 10.85 (allrounder? Nope)
Swann 171 @ 28.5 (better average than Strauss, Pietersen and Trott. Topped bowling averages, the tours real success)

Trott is an interesting one. 27.14 is poor and he has no record to call on. By all rights he should go the way of Bopara and Shah – I wonder if that will happen. I bet he gets to tour Bangladesh for some buffet runs.

Ian Bell (who else)

Ian Bell, much derided on these pages has finally played an innings that mattered in the context of the game. Ian Bell is a bit like a bus – you wait ages for him to do something significant and then he does it twice in a match. The Cape Town match was Bell’s fifty-second Test match and by my reckoning the first innings he has played that made a substantial difference to the result. At the start of the day South Africa were definitely favourites to win the game and Bell and Collinwood denied them. Why has it taken Bell so long to produce some innings that matter? You could argue (in fact I probably have) that if you give any player enough chances they will eventually do something significant. In Bell’s case though, his technique and ability always suggested something greater – that he was good enough to play Test cricket – he just couldn’t because of a mental problem. They say top sport is mostly played in the head and Bell seems a prime example of that. He would make the best looking innings of 32 you have seen and then get out in a silly fashion - repeatedly. I would suggest today’s innings was the best he has ever played. Let’s hope he has learnt something from this Test and that this is not a one-off.