Mostly Harmiless

The first two days of the first test match has exercised David Lloyd’s full range of coaching euphemisms for rubbish. In his tenure as England coach Lloyd had to tread lightly with some individuals. What good practice that was for his commentary stints for Sky Sports when Steve Harmison was bowling. We had “He is just easing himself in” and “He still has plenty in the tank” and of course the full “He needs to slip himself”. Sadly, the truth is that Steve Harmison, once the world’s number one ranked bowler, is now rubbish. It is not just the James-Anderson-spray-it-around variety of rubbish either, Harmison was well, crap. It was a bad sign when, after not taking the new ball, his first ball was applauded and cheered by the entire slip-cordon. His accuracy is poor and his pace is even worse. He regularly bowled at 78 mph, and rarely above 82 mph. This is a full ten mph slower than his best pace. That makes him military medium! Spraying it about is one thing, but doing it slowly is laughable.

In addition to being completely unacceptable it is also not unique. Harmison has struggled to earn his place since the 2005 Ashes and quite often has people confounded by his lack of form. Why does England keep picking Harmison? I do not think he would get into any other test nation’s side (go on, name one that does not begin with B), certainly not New Zealand’s; Martin and Mills looked much more menacing. I cannot believe that Stuart Broad would have bowled that ineffectively...